I’ve let go of the bitterness of my divorce and Lisa’s cheating and lies and deceit. The one thing I am still working on is the fact that my daughter and my sister chose sides, and didn’t choose mine.
Linda, no big surprise there. She’s a snot. She’s always been a snot. She will always be a snot.
Tammy? That’s a different story. And I’m still working on that bitterness.
The thing is, I should have seen it for what it was way back when things first broke open. I questioned why her best friend Cindy (who was also a friend of ours as well) would reach out to Lisa and not to me. Tammy turned it around to how every time she says goodbye to Cindy, she’s afraid it will be the last time, yadda yadda yadda, ad nauseum. She chose not to address the issue but, rather, deflect it. God forbid someone say something negative about Cindy. That was the first red flag – that she DEFENDED Cindy’s betrayal.
Tammy also let it be known right up front that the price of my continued relationship with her was that she was going to remain friends with Lisa. That hurt, but what could I say or do? There were other little things, subtle, that made me do a slow burn, but I didn’t say anything. She’s my sister, right?
But then this summer, when the shit about the equipment on the farm happened, well, that cemented for me that she’s a lying, two-faced hypocrite. And when I confronted her about it, I got more deflection. “I did this because yesterday my husband was sick and you should feel bad for him even though it has nothing to do with actually addressing the issue. You’re being an asshole, Pat and I did nothing wrong.”
Well, Tammy, if that helps you live in your little world, you are welcome to live there. With Lisa. And Cindy. You all deserve each other because you are ALL betrayers. Just don’t turn your backs on each other because, once a cheater/betrayer, always a cheater/betrayer. I’m doing fine in this life without you, but I want you to know that you wounded me deeply – as deeply as Lisa did with her betrayal. And that, well, it’ll take a long, long time for me to get past that hurt as well, but I will. And I will go on with my life and choose to be happy. I will guard myself much better in the future, thanks to you and Lisa, but I’ll go on, I’ll be strong, and I will thrive.
I’ll survive. I always do. But if you are even HALF the person I used to think you were, you’ll feel badly about this as well. You’ll realize that you never gave me a chance and that, in fact, you worked hard at avoiding me for months, and especially that day you took the equipment from the farm.
And then you tried to justify it and turn it around on me. Just like Lisa did.
Lisa made the choices she made all on her own. So did you.