Yup, I’m back on the Prozac.

No, it’s not because things got all crazy stupid with coffee the other day.  I suppose I’ve been leading up to it slowly.  Lots of anxiety brought on by environmental factors at work, not sleeping right, blood pressure’s back up again.  Lots of things.  So I saw the doctor today and she suggested another round of Prozac.

I’ve been off it for more than 2 years (hardly seems possible) but for the two years I was on it, things just seemed to improve dramatically.  Better living through chemistry, I suppose.

Back then, I expressed some concern with the doctor that I might have some symptoms of depression — no passion for the things I loved, lethargic, not sleeping, weepy, vicious mood swings, stuff like that.  Some of it had a lot to do with menopause — which I still struggle with.  But more than anything else, what concerned her was when I half-laughingly told her I wanted to gut my boss and hange his entrails from my car antenna.

I didn’t get to that point this time, but I still longingly yearn for that type of respite.  Probably explains why I love Dexter so much — he embodies (and acts on) all my darkest thoughts.

Along with the Prozac is a two month course of Prilosec (generic).  My guts are a mess — burning, churning, roiling, gurgling, nauseating.  It’s been a couple of months now since I could eat anything and not suffer on some level.

Since Christmas I’ve been working my way through all 3 seasons of Dexter.  I adore this show.  I love Dexter’s self-deprecation.  Masouka’s perversions.  Battista’s gentleness.  Debra’s foul-mouthed humor.  Like when Dexter tells her that Rita is pregnant:  “A roly-poly, chubby-cheeked shit machine? Are you kidding me?”

Somehow, her rude, crude, socially unacceptable manner is endearing.  Perhaps I feel that way because I’m prone to dropping the “F” bomb here and there myself.

In conversation with Dexter:

Deborah on Lila: “I’m sorry Dex but she is gross. And pale. And nobody’s pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross english titty vampire.”

Dexter: “You just described the perfect woman.”

And fussin’ at Dexter about why Lila is so obsessed with him: “Does your dick dance?”

Masuoka: Hey Morgan, wanna sit on my lap when we’re done and tell me what you want for Christmas.
Deb: And he’s back. No thanks, last thing on my wish list is a burning sensation when I pee.

I think that the characters have developed very well over the past 3 seasons.  They grow, yet the essence of them doesn’t change.  The story lines have been excellent, too.  Completely unpredictable.  Perhaps that’s what makes a hit show, eh?

Lisa will be home tomorrow. I figure the Ravens to beat the Steelers and possibly even the Cardinals beating the Eagles.  Pennsylvania types are hoping for a “Turnpike Superbowl,” but I’m thinking neither PA team will make it.  I’ve got a long weekend to get my brain wrapped around the Prozac again.  We’ll get back to FlyLady things again.

And maybe — just maybe — things will get back to normal again.

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