I don’t often pass these things around but this one struck a chord. We truly have gotten stupid over the years. But I have always maintained that school “zero tolerance” policies have amounted to nothing more than “zero intelligence.” Obviously it’s old, but still got some good points. (Hat tip: Rodger)
SCHOOL — 1957 vs. 2007
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007– Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 – Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007– Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957– Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 – Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 – Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, and goes to college.
2007 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 – Ants die.
2007– BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
I got this one in email too and found it amusing (and spot on). (Hat tip: Jo)
I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight….
If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”
Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers: a quintessential American story.
If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track: you’re a maverick.
Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating: you’re well grounded.
If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills
and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.
If your total resume is: local weather girl (sports caster), 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.
If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.
If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DUI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now.
Anyone else find it interesting that the National Organization for Women has endorsed Obama/Biden and NOT the “breaking the glass ceiling” touting McCain/Palin party?
Sen. John McCain’s choice of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate is a cynical effort to appeal to disappointed Hillary Clinton voters and get them to vote, ultimately, against their own self-interest.
Gov. Palin may be the second woman vice-presidential candidate on a major party ticket, but she is not the right woman. Sadly, she is a woman who opposes women’s rights, just like John McCain.
The fact that Palin is a mother of five who has a 4-month-old baby, a woman who is juggling work and family responsibilities, will speak to many women. But will Palin speak FOR women? Based on her record and her stated positions, the answer is clearly No.
In a gubernatorial debate, Palin stated emphatically that her opposition to abortion was so great, so total, that even if her teenage daughter was impregnated by a rapist, she would “choose life” — meaning apparently that she would not permit her daughter to have an abortion.
Palin also had to withdraw her appointment of a top public safety commissioner who had been reprimanded for sexual harassment, although Palin had been warned about his background through letters by the sexual harassment complainant.
What McCain does not understand is that women supported Hillary Clinton not just because she was a woman, but because she was a champion on their issues. They will surely not find Sarah Palin to be an advocate for women.
Sen. Joe Biden is the VP candidate who appeals to women, with his authorship and championing of landmark domestic violence legislation, support for pay equity, and advocacy for women around the world.
Finally, as the chair of NOW’s Political Action Committee, I am frequently asked whether NOW supports women candidates just because they are women. This gives me an opportunity to once again answer that question with an emphatic ‘No.’ We recognize the importance of having women’s rights supporters at every level but, like Sarah Palin, not every woman supports women’s rights. — NOW PAC Chair Kim Gandy
For some excellent commentary about sexism in politics, give Lesbiatopia a read here.
Rochester area women are asked to congregate at Washington Square Park tomorrow afternoon with a sign that says “Sarah Palin does’t speak for me.” They’re hoping to get at least 100 women there and take a photo of them. I like the idea — unfortunately, we are planning to try to put in a floor this weekend so there won’t be much time for play.
McCain might have damaged his support by the Hispanic community. Listen to the question (at about 43 minutes) by the “…proud Hispanic Republican” who asks McCain what talking points he can use in the Hispanic community (presumably in support of McCain), and McCain just dives right into immigration reform, stopping the flow of drugs, etc.
Over at the Church of the Apocalyptic Kiwi, I found a great transcription of the audio and also found that, the author of the transcription alleges that the local newspaper that wrote about the town hall meeting “tweaked” McCain’s responses to make him look better.
Note to Awake in Rochester: This is too new to find on factcheck.org but I think it’s safe to assume that the live audio is factchecking enough, okay?
Even members of the GOP aren’t convinced:
“I think it’s a stretch to, in any way, to say that she’s got the experience to be president of the United States,” [Senator Chuck] Hagel (R-Nebraska) said.
McCain and other Republicans have defended Palin’s qualifications, citing Alaska’s proximity to Russia. Palin told ABC News, “They’re our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.”
I can see Lake Ontario from Rochester, but that doesn’t make me qualified to scuba-dive.
I can see the University of Rochester every morning on my way to work but that doesn’t make me a scholar.
I can see Kodak corporate headquarters from the expressway every morning, but that doesn’t make me an expert in photography or imaging.
I can see Hooters and Outback Steadkhouse every day, too, but that doesn’t mean I have big tits nor does it make me automatically say “G’day.”
I said tits in that previous section. I apologize for saying tits if it offends anyone, it was not my intention to offend by saying tits. I should have referred to tits as hooters or headlights or ta-ta’s and I’ll try to be more sensitive about not calling them tits.
I’m really trying hard to be more diplomatic and not use words like tits, shit, damn, or even the eff word, but it’s fucking hard sometimes when you’ve really got a case of the ass about some shithead moron.
But, I’m trying…