1. What is your best friend’s Dad’s name?
2. What body part(s) do you hate?
Feet. I think feet are ugly.
4. Have you ever made out in a basement?
Nope. Didn’t fare too well in the attic, either.
5. What body part do you wash first in the shower?
Well, I wash my hair first but that’s not really a body part so, after my hair, I start with my arms, then work my way to….well, you get the idea.
6. Do you have any current piercings?
Nope, just the old ones.
7. Do you have any tattoos?
Do bruises count?
8. Is your driveway steep?
Flat as a pancake…a frosted pancake at that, with all the snow.
9. What ‘s your favorite flavored Pringles?.
They’re flavored now? Man, I need to get out more…
10. Have you ever been tied up?
Literally or figuratively?
11. What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for?
I spent my whole youth grounded so I think it was for being born.
12. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
I did that once in high school — wayyyy too stressful.
13. How many times have you been cursed at?
14. What shoe do you put on first?
The one right before the one I put on last.
15. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
I’ve never been to a bar where there wasn’t a lot of gaiety.
16. Have you ever had any Friends with Benefits?
18. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
No, but I have done some sniping.
19. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
The NY State Lottery Commisioner — and it’s usually with him handing me a check.
20. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets or your towel?
I’d choose one towel to never wash — and it’d be folded neatly in the closet, unused.
24. Have you ever found anything in your parents bedroom that was shocking?
25. What was your childhood nickname?
Gosh, there were so many! Shithead. Asswipe. Bitch. It’s hard to pick a favorite.
26. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Mine has been out of order for several years now.
27. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sex’s locker room?
Why would I want to do that when there were so many girls in my own?
28. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
I chew them.
29. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
What am I drinking?
30. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I have absolutely nothing else to put in my blog today.
31. What were the best years of your life?
The years after I left home.
32. Any strange phobias?
Driving next to big rig trucks. Wearing a mask (mildly claustrophobic). Phobophobic, too.
33. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
No, I only use domestic objects up my nose.
34. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name?
No, but I call her by my daughter’s name a lot.
35. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
Before or after the mattress mambo?
36. Have you ever played naked Twister?
37. Have you ever been drunk at work/school?
No, but I’ve had a beverage on occasion at work.
38. Do you ever wonder who the hell makes these things up? All the frickin’ time.