Britney Spears has been ordered to undergo random drug/alcohol tests twice a week as part of the ongoing custody case in her divorce from Kevin Federline.

What took those GD judges so long to make this decision?  Child safety is no delicate matter and decisions like this need to be made WITHOUT regard to who the lowlife parent is, and WITHOUT regard to how much money said scumbag has.

But here’s the kicker — this order came yesterday so, where was Britney last night?  Out celebrating at a Los Angeles nightspot. 

Britney Spears is a piss-poor excuse for a parent and has no regard for the safety of her children as is clearly evidenced by her constant “faux-pas” — riding around in a convertible with the top down and the southern California sun cooking the kid’s brain and skin; riding around in a convertible with kid in lap while driving and no seatbelt on; use of drugs and alcohol; etc. etc. etc.

And don’t even get me started on her MVA debacle.

There are those that would argue that K-Fed is no better a parent but I’d have to argue that particular sentiment.  I’m not reading stuff about him doing the kinds of shit Britney is doing and, while he may not be the best parent, he’s got to be the better of the two.  And those two little boys deserve better than what their mother is willing to give them right now.

Earlier this week, Spears was booted from a posh restaurant because she began smearing (expensive gourmet) food all over her face.  Patrons were so upset, they asked management to have her removed.  Management complied.

It’s so bad, her lawyer fired her ass on Monday.  The lawyer Spears hired to replace her quit today.

Within two hours, her new manager fired her ass, too.

With any kind of luck, she’ll come up hot on a whiz quiz and those kids will be out of her custody faster’n you can recite Larry Craig’s mantra “It ain’t gay sex if it’s between two straight men.”