As I finally began to gulp in (and swallow) air, I nodded my head. It seemed like an eternity before I was finally able to breathe and my heart felt like it had leaped up into my throat, hammering away.
I had been drowning – that’s the only way I can describe it.
For many years I had violent nightmares – horrific dreams starring my abuser, nightmares that just wouldn’t give me a break. While I would awaken panicked and breathless, I was always nauseous and choking but never like this. This was strangely different and I have no explanation for it. I don’t believe I had been dreaming at all. I haven’t had those nightmares in a long, long time, thanks to some good therapy and excellent hypnosis.
Lisa thinks that maybe my saliva just went down my throat the wrong way. I suppose she’s right, but the way I was gasping and wheezing for air, I somehow doubt that a little bit of spittle could have done that.
Once my heart slowed, I lay back down and, with Idgie camped on my chest, I drifted back to sleep – not at all what I would have been able to do with those long ago nightmares. I’m a bit unsettled by it all today, not sure what it was all about.
Lisa had a job interview today – in fact, it started just a little over an hour ago. I would have thought I would have heard from her by now, as we both believed it was just a preliminary HR interview that is often done at large companies, just to sort of “size” up any potential employees.
She’s been so disenchanted at her job lately. There is nobody there with any meaningful managerial skills, including the President of the company, who drinks during the day most days now. I pointed out to her last night that, when the “big 3” are away (President, GM, and Sales Manager), they leave the company in the hands of a very capable HOURLY employee (she makes just a tad over $12 an hour, and is in charge of a company at times????) And she’s worth so much more than what they’re paying her.
Lisa does inventory control these days. Before she took it over, each year they had to adjust inventory in amounts that would equal just about 1% of sales. That’s a lot of unaccounted for inventory when a company makes more than $5 million in sales.
Since Lisa took it over, the past two years their adjustment rate has not even equaled one one-hundredth of a percent. Last November, they adjusted only about $1,000 worth of unaccounted for inventory – as opposed to more than $50,000 in the past.
Inventory control specialists make almost double what Lisa is making.
I’m proud of her, that she’s taking this step, even if it amounts to nothing. I think it will do her good to get out there and look around, and reinforce to herself what her worth is.