1. You hate your job, but you have to stay there because you’re too old to start again, or you have too much retirement to lose, whatever the reason. Your boss is a pure “yes man” when it comes to higher levels of administration. He agrees with you on proposals until someone at a higher level disagrees, then he does a 180. His standard response to anything you bring up is “Well, just do the best you can.” You have an opportunity to blow off some steam at him, and you’re guaranteed that he won’t remember what you’ve said to him in 10 minutes. Give ‘er a run, what will you say?
Just once I’d like you to ask your wife if she’ll take your balls out of her purse and let you wear them to work. Do the best I can? What the hell do you think I’ve been doing! I don’t want commiseration, I want leadership and support!
2. A colleague that you cannot stand is getting ready to give a big presentation to senior management. You notice that she has a pretty good sized boogie showing in her nose and you know that she’ll be close enough to the participants in the presentation for them to definitely see the boogie. Do you tell her? Why or why not?
Hell no! I let her go in with that sucker hanging there and let the higher level managers see that they’ve got themselves a nose-picker as well as a brown-noser.
3. Same type of scenario as #2, but it’s a cop who just pulled you over for speeding and his zipper (fly) is open. Tell him? Why or why not?
Yes. But how I tell him depends on how he interacts with me. If he’s polite and business-like, I’d quietly indicate to him that the barn door was open. If he was a dickhead, I’d probably ask him why he was citing me when HE was the one exposing himself.
4. Your spouse or significant other is having a milestone 40th birthday this year. What are you planning to do about it?
Have a party. Not a surprise party, just a party. And, the invitations would go out with the request that no black or over-the-hill themed items be given.
5. What makes you like cats over dogs, or dogs over cats?
Personally, I think that dogs are a lot more work and much higher maintenance. Cats make me feel humble because of their independent, almost aloof nature. Love from a dog is an auto-response from the animal, but love from a cat comes on their terms and their terms only. Cats don’t wake you up in the middle of the night having to go potty, nor do they yap in the background when you’re on the phone. Cats are also naturally inclined to use litter boxes where dogs have to be trained to not shit where they sleep.
6. How many kids do you have as opposed to how many kids you wanted to have? Are there more in your future?
I had three, but didn’t have any real goal on how many I’d have. No more in my future unless they’re grandchildren.
7. Beer, wine, hard liquor, or tea-totaller? What brand/type?
Red, semi-dry/semi-sweet wines mostly. I love the New York wines (Torrey Ridge Scarlet Red, Bully Hill Love My Goat, Glenora Bobsled Red). I’m a huge fan of most Chianti wines, and, while reds are my favorites, I love certain chardonnays and Rieslings.
8. One of your closest friends is getting married and has indicated on the invitation that the reception will be outdoors and very casual. Do you wear what you wore to the ceremony? Do you change into something else? If you change, what do you change into?
Exceptionally good shorts or jeans (depending on climate) and top, with decent looking shoes. Heck, if they want casual, I’m going casual!
9. Tell the truth. When that obnoxious neighbor, friend or relative calls, and you see it’s them on the caller ID, do you ignore the call or do you answer it? Why?
Absolutely. Lisa has a relative and we have a neighbor that, often, you just have to be in a mood to tolerate them because they’re such negative, whiney people. This means that we ignore their phone calls frequently.
10. If you could have just one “do-over” in your life, what would it be?
When I was younger, I used to wish for do-overs all the time. At my age now, I think I believe that any do-over would have a huge ripple effect on my life following the do-over. I’ve come to accept that my life’s mistakes have made me into the person that I am and if I were able to rid myself of even one painful or bad time in my life, I’d be a different person than I am. And I basically like the person I’ve become. I love my life today and it’s my past life that has enabled me to both get here, and appreciate where I am. So, no do-overs for me.