I told my primary care physician today that, as long as she has me for a patient, there will always be a house and a pool.

Last night, I offered to help Mary move her home gym from downstairs to upstairs which, of course, required us to disassemble it, move it, and reassemble it. We were very careful to disassemble it in a way that we’d be able to remember how it went back together and not screw up the pulley system (or we’d have never figured that out again). It came with 20 10 lb. weights and I took the liberty of claiming them for myself, as far as moving them. I carried 3 at a time, up the stairs. Figured it would provide me with a relatively decent workout, and add to my step count for the day.

So, we got everything up the stairs without any real issues and, by the time Lisa arrived home at 6:00, we had just the main piece to haul up — and it took the 3 of us to do it based on the fact that we only partially disassembled it which made it awkward and heavy. We stopped for pizza around 7:30 and got back to work. We had the mutha almost put back together, and were working on the last big part of it. It had a long post that bolted to the bottom rail and, as I kneeled to see if the holes where the bolts go were lined up, I had my left hand in front of the post, and the left behind it. I gave it a nudge with my right hand to get it forward just a hair, but the damned thing slid forward and caught my left ring finger right at the tip.

I was instantly bruised under the nail and, when I looked at the finger pad, it was completely black. Clearly the blood had pooled up under the skin. We finished up and went home, and I tried to ice it, but the ice made such bone-chilling cold on the finger, it hurt — bad.

So, I went to the doc this afternoon, figuring it should probably be looked at, as it’s still VERY painful. She sent me for x-rays and the tech showed me on the computer monitor where it looks like there may be a small fracture in the bone near the tip of the finger. She said the doctor’s monitor is much better and he’ll be better able to determine if there’s any problem there.

Now, lesbians shouldn’t hurt their digits. Know whut I mean? Fortunately for me, it’s on the left hand and I’m right-handed.

Just how bad is it when they know you on sight at the x-ray clinic? In the past 5 years, I’ve been there for a dislocated pinkie, a wrecked knee, a destroyed finger, a good attempt at breaking my foot over the summer, and now this. They were bustin’ on me today telling me they were going to name a hallway at the x-ray clinic after me, give me my own personal exam room. Funny…

Yeah, real funny…