Last September I sat down and talked with my son about his responsibilities and his future. I told him that it was time for him to go out on his own and that I wouldn’t be doing him any favors by letting him stay at home any longer. I gave him until July 1 of this year. He moved out yesterday.

Joe turned 26 last week. He’s no longer eligible for my health insurance and, while he thought he’d be done with school at the end of May, he didn’t have enough credits to graduate so he’ll have to go again this Fall. My thinking was that he’d be done in May and he wouldn’t have that burden along with the new tasks of supporting himself. He’ll have to work that out himself.

I’ve been a mother for 33 years and I can say with absolute certainty that you never stop being a Mom to your kids and that letting go is the single hardest thing a Mom has to do.

My girls have been gone for a while. Michelle has been gone longer than she was ever home — 17 years. Linda left home 10 years ago to go live with her father after a particularly troubling year here at home. Both girls left home in anger and it broke my heart that they left under such circumstances.

Joe was my easy kid. He’d never been grounded, never sent to his room, nothing like that. He was an easygoing type of personality with a quick wit. He was loving, even at an age when it’s not cool to like your parents. He and I were the best of friends.

Which is why I’m struggling so hard with his absence now.

Like I told Lisa this morning, I know I did the right thing. As long as Joe lived here at home I’d continue to be a Mom and not hold him to his responsibilities.

Joe paid his own way through college. He went to the community college I work at, and I was able to get him a tuition waiver, but he still had to pay fees and buy books. After he graduated from the community college he went on to a 4 year school where he paid his own tuition, bought his own books, and assumed the responsibility every aspect of his education. He took out a couple of small student loans but has them both paid in full as of this week. While taking 5 classes each semester, he continued to work at the job he’s had since he was a junior in high school — a job that, while classified as “part-time” still saw him working full-time hours. In the spring, it wasn’t unusual for him to work 60-80 hours a week without a day off during the entire month of May. But still, he persevered and worked hard at his studies and his job.

He couldn’t have done all of that if he’d had to support himself, a major reason why he was home as long as he was.

We helped him move the larger things to his new residence yesterday. I keep seeing his face as we left — wondering if it was sadness (like mine) or just fatigue at the physical strain of the day.

I miss my kid already.

I love you Joe, with all my heart.

At the end of March we got a kitten that we named Sadie.  Sadie was only 4 weeks old — she and her sibs had a mother that for some reason had just stopped feeding the kittens, hissing and swatting at them if they tried to nurse.  So, Sadie came home with me (without having consulted Lisa).

Simba, our 22 lb. male cat welcomed Sadie the same way he did Idgie 3 years ago.  He groomed her, played with her, cuddled with her — he’s such a good big brother.  Idgie and Cedar, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with her and hissed and fissed at her if she dared come anywhere near them.

Anyway, Sadie was barely strong enough to stand and eat food from a dish without her little legs quivering.  We fed her canned kitten food (at the advice of our vet) and actually had to force some in her mouth so that she could figure out what it was.  We had to give her water with an eyedropper for the first few days until she got the hang of drinking water out of a bowl without drowning.  At any given time, she would only stay awake for an hour at a pop before it was nap-time and she’d find a warm spot under someone’s collar, on a lap, or even under the furniture covers to hunker down and nap.  Because she was so little, we confined her to a bathroom at night when we went to bed.  As soon as we put her in there at night, she was quiet and we didn’t hear a thing from her until we got up the next morning.  When she snuggled with me, she’d suckle on my ear lobe and just hold it in her mouth and go to sleep.

She was adorable.

Was.

Sadie has no fear of anything or anybody.  She isn’t just energetic, she is frantic with energy from the time she wakes until it’s time for her next nap.  She is into absolutely everything.  And poor Simba can’t take a nap without her jumping on him, messing with him, and pissing him off.  She grabs hold of the fur on his backside and, as he runs yowling, she goes along for the ride, teeth clamped firmly on his fur.  When I’m in the shower, she runs right in, runs around in the shower playing with the water as it runs down the drain or she sits on the seat in the shower and watches me.  When I’m brushing my teeth, she jumps up on the vanity, into the sink, and bats at my toothbrush as I brush or plays with the stream of water coming out of the faucet.  As I take my morning meds, she jumps up and pulls at the paper cup as I try to drink from it.

Sadie climbs the door casings.  She jumps as high as she can (and this girl gets some SERIOUS air), then clamps onto the door casings with all 4 paws/claws and just hangs there, like a Koala bear.  She takes a running start down the hallway and, as she reaches top speed, launches herself onto the wall and then pushes off with her feet — literally “bouncing off the walls.”

She chews on the cord to my laptop.  She jumps onto the counter in the kitchen where the sink is and bats our poor plant around.  She gets into any sink and acts like she’s digging on the smooth surface (I think she likes the slippery feel), although she doesn’t scratch it.  If there’s any kind of bug, she will climb whatever screen, piece of furniture or other obstacle she needs to in order to get to said bug.  She tightrope-walks across the top of the wrought iron rail which would drop her 10 feet to the floor beneath if she loses her balance.  Every time poor Idgie walks into a room, Sadie chases her right back out for the pure pleasure of watching Idgie run.  At night, Sadie comes into our room, purring loudly, looking for an earlobe to suckle.  If we cover our ears, she just grabs any loose piece of skin (which, at our ages, could be just about anywhere) and begins to suckle.  If we discourage that, she runs back and forth across our bed (meaning our chests, our faces, whatever) in that same frantic style of play.  We often have to put her out of the room and block the cat door coming into the room just so we can get some sleep.

Sadie uses her claws to fish things out of places.  She does this with the litter in the litterbox, leaving a huge pile of litter OUTSIDE the box.  She fishes throat lozenges out of a small container on our headboard, and carries them around the house, batting them around.  Q-tips come out of the trash can, as do toilet paper rolls (we have 3 bathrooms so that’s 3 times the fun).  Of course, there’s the shredded toilet paper, too.

So, last week Lisa was dog-sitting for a friend.  That first night I thought to myself “Sah-weet! I can sprawl across the bed!” so I went to bed looking forward to having the bed all to myself.  About 2:00 or so, Sadie comes in, purring loudly, looking for an earlobe or other fleshy part of the body to suckle.  Like an annoying mosquito, I kept waving her away, to no avail.  After an hour or so, Sadie gave up and just sort of faded into the darkness.  Just as I was drifting back to sleep, I heard the retching.  Then I heard it again.  I reached up, turned on the light, and saw Simba hunched over at the foot of my bed, horking on the bedspread.

Now, understand, cat yak makes ME retch and often Lisa is the one who has to clean it up, while she laughs raucously at my retching.  Without Lisa there, I knew I’d have to clean it up.  So, I steeled myself, went into the bathroom for some toilet paper, and saw that it was shredded all over the place.  I gathered up some shreds, put a huge grin on my face, and went to clean up the cat yak.  Why the grin?  We were watching CSI one night and Sara Sidle was grinning while at the a particularly nasty crime scene — she told her colleage that she’d read that grinning suppresses the gag reflex.  So, there I am, at about 3:00 in the morning, grinning like a fool, cleaning cat puke off my bed.

Completely exhausted from the constant interruption in my sleep, I dropped like a prom dress into my bed again, but lay there tossing and turning for another hour or so until I finally drifted back to sleep…to be awakened a short time later by Idgie pulling the covers from me with her claws.  This his how SHE gets attention.  I’ve always thought it was adorable and, since Sadie has come into our home, Idgie stopped coming into our room with us at night.  So, I was pleased to see her, and told her how much I missed her, and petted her, scratched her behind the ears, everything she asked of me.  But she wouldn’t settle down, which was weird.  After a good half hour or so of trying to drift off only to be nudged by Idgie again I finally realized that the only reason she was there was most likely because all the food dishes were empty.  So, I got up, went to the kitchen and snapped on the light.  The hair on the back of my neck prickled up as I realized I was completely surrounded by the four cats, all looking at me expectantly.  All four dishes were empty, not a morsel to be found and I found myself feeling very unsettled with the position I found myself in — surrounded by four hungry cats.  I scooped food into all four food dishes and went back to the bedroom and promptly blocked any way for the cats to come back into the bedroom.  It was nearly 5:00 and I’d not had much sleep at all.

I tossed and turned for a while longer until I finally dropped back off.  The alarm went off too soon and I lay in bed for another hour and a half before I was able to force myself to get up and start my work day.  I showered, dressed and opened the bedroom door.  I took one step into the hallway and stood stock still, dumbfounded.

The hallway was littered with band-aid wrappers, Q-tips, shredded toilet paper, toiled paper rolls, tissues, and other types of items you’d find in the trash can in the bathroom.  You know the one — the one that was overturned in the spare bathroom.  All the contents of that trashcan were strewn about the hallway, into the living room, and into the kitchen.  In the kitchen I found a 10-12 foot piece of shredded toilet paper — most likely the predecessor of the mess that I’d found a couple of minutes earlier in the bathroom.  I stood there, surveying the mess, and turned to look back down the hall toward my bedroom.

In the half-light of dawn, I could make out something on the floor in the spare bedroom, but wasn’t quite sure what it was.  It seemed rather large and almost looked like it could be a blanket or something.  I walked down the hallway to investigate and, the closer I got, the more convinced I was that it was a blanket.  It seemed brownish and very plush, but an instantaneous thought struck me that we didn’t have any blankets or similar items that fit that sort of description.  I snapped on the light in the spare bedroom and clapped my hand over my mouth as I said “OH MY GOD, SADIE!”

In the room NEXT to the spare bedroom, on an over-the-door hook on the back of the door, I’d had a rabbit coat that I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with.  This was the object laying on the floor in the spare bedroom.  This little kitten had somehow managed to jump up and get that coat off the hook, and had dragged it into the spare bedroom.  Rabbit fur was EVERYWHERE on the carpet.

Behind me, Sadie sat on her haunches, feigning innocence.

She’s damned lucky she’s cute.

SoS?

Spawn of Satan.

And for some reason, the vet keeps telling me that a lobotomy is not an option.  We’ll see about that…

Speaking of the Spawn of Satan……..

The New York State Senate continues their childish antics.  While two Democrats defected to the Republican side to vote on the leadership, making the Republicans control the chambers with a 32-30 lead, one has since gone back to the Democrat fold, giving the chamber a 50-50 split at 31-31.  They are getting nothing accomplished and are having dueling sessions — the Republicans claiming control and running the show THEY think they own, and the Democrats doing the same.  The governor keeps ordering them back to work even though they’re supposed to be through with this year’s session, but they merely enter the chamber and begin their childish games once again.

For the time being, the courts are refusing to get involved to resolve the leadership situation.  And, because our elected governor stepped down in shame, elevating the Lieutenant Governor to the top spot, we have no Lieutenant Governor to act as a tie-breaker.

One of the defecting Democrats got, as his reward, leadership of the Senate.  Greed.  This man represents his own self-interests and not those of his constituents.

The entire shitty lot of them should be fired.

In another state, at the state government level, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford falls off the face of the planet for a few days. Nobody, not even his wife and kids know where he is. It’s a minor news blip but nothing more is made of it while he’s MIA.  State government at every level argues and fights over who gets the reins and why.

He resurfaces AFTER a nice trip to Buenos Aires with his mistress.

When news first broke about his mysterious disappearance, first lady Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press she did not know where her husband had gone for the Father’s Day weekend.

Sanford’s announcement came a day after another prominent Republican, Sen. John Ensign of Nevada, apologized to his GOP Senate colleagues after revealing last week that he had an affair with a campaign staffer and was resigning from the GOP leadership.

And what, exactly is with these governors, regardless of party? “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” is the old adage. And I’m thinking this list indicates that our governors need more to do at work!

• Alabama Governor Don Siegelman (D-AL) found guilty of bribery, mail fraud and obstruction of justice 6/29/2006, sentenced to 88 months.
• Alaska Governor Sarah Palin Vice president nominee in the 2008 elections. Troopergate — refers to her alleged dismissal of Walt Monegan because he wouldn’t fire State Trooper Mike Wooten, Palin’s ex-brother-in-law. A state personnel board investigation found no wrong-doing.  Other investigations continue.
• Arizona Governor John Fife Symington III convicted of fraud (1997)
• Arkansas Governor James Guy Tucker, Jr. (D-AR), convicted of fraud conspiracy (1996)
• Connecticut Governor John G. Rowland resigned from office during a corruption investigation, and later pleaded guilty in federal court to a one-count with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and tax fraud. He served ten months in a federal prison followed by four months house arrest ending in June, 2006.
• Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-IL) charged with conspiracy to commit mail, wire fraud and solicitation of bribery. He was also accused of “Pay to Play” schemes, including the sale of President Barack Obama’s vacated U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder. He was impeached and removed from office (January 28, 2009)
• Illinois Governor George H. Ryan (R-IL) illegal sale of government licenses and contracts as Secretary of IL State. Convicted (2006)
• Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards (D-LA) convicted of extortion (2000)
• New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy (D-NJ) Resigned from office 11/15/07 after admitting his homosexuality and the inappropriate appointment of his alleged male-sex partner to a government paid office.(2004)
• Oklahoma Governor David Walters (D-OK) pleaded guilty to misdemeanor election law violation (1993)
• New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson(D-NM) withdraws his bid to be President-Elect Obama’s Commerce Secretary due to an investigation by a federal grand jury into how a California company that contributed to Richardson’s political activities won a New Mexico transportation contract worth more than $1 million (January 4, 2009)
• Ohio Governor Bob Taft (R-OH) pleads no contest and is convicted on four first-degree misdemeanor ethics violations (2005)
• West Virginia Governor Arch A. Moore Jr(R) guilty of mail fraud, tax fraud, extortion and obstruction of justice, (1990)

As my friend RL says — if their lips are moving, they’re lying.

I got this over at Facebook, thought I’d pass it along:

I’m sure by now most of you may have heard already about the situation in the State Senate. However, I’m going to present a brief recap for the sake of clarity.

Monday afternoon some time around 3:45, Republican members of the state senate initiated a reorganization vote, which is what you do when control of a legislative body has changed hands. Two former Democrats, Hiram Monserrate of Queens and Pedro Espada of Brooklyn, joined the Republicans to ostensibly give them control of the chamber.

Approximately an hour later, Malcolm Smith issued a statement asserting that the reorganization vote was illegal, and that he was still the valid Majority Leader, on the grounds that the session had already been closed when the vote took place, making it theater rather than binding.

Currently, the State Senate is still under Democratic control. However, until this situation is resolved, it’s effectively brought all business to a standstill. Yes, that includes urgent items like the spending bills. And we don’t know how this will end up, or when.

If the names Hiram Monserrate and Pedro Espada seem familiar to you, it’s probably because they’ve been in the news a little bit. Espada is under investigation for an estimated $60,000 in campaign finance “irregularities,” (nudge, wink) as well as using his non-profit healthcare organizations for campaign purposes, and possibly attempting to defraud state government to the tune of $2 million dollars. (See Tuesday’s NY Times article.)

Monserrate is, in fact, actually already under indictment for slashing his girlfriend in the face with a broken glass, requiring 20 stitches. The minute that either of them is convicted, they automatically lose their seat, and are replaced in a special election.

You could certainly be forgiven for being baffled why we even let these two guys in the door in the morning. The short answer is because having them there allowed the State Senate majority to get things done, and because neither of them was going to survive the next election. That said, I’ve talked to people on the inside and they are very adamant that the Democratic leadership is not inclined to turn over control of the chamber based on the actions of two criminals who had been exiled from the party.

But Monserrate and Espada aren’t the only players in this event–as it turns out, billionaire and ostensible ex-New Yorker Tom Golisano and his lieutenant Steve Pigeon were the major movers behind setting up the deal in the first place. This seems idiotic to me, given the fact that Golisano is putting back into power some of the same people he tried to get thrown out of office last year, but I can’t speak to Golisano’s motivations. Fortunately he already has, stating that he did it because Malcolm Smith fiddled with his Blackberry during a meeting.

(http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/dailypolitics/2009/06/smith-a-victim-of-bad-blackber.html)

At the moment, the issue is being fought over in Albany and on all the political blogs. So what can the rest of us do in this situation? Get the word out. This fight is going to be decided mostly on public opinion, and most people don’t know the story behind Monserrate and Espada.

Yep, I go for months without saying much, if anything, then I come back with both barrels on a rant.

My rant is about “Christians.”  It’s not about Christianity or real Christians, it’s about pseudo-Christians or, as we like to call them, Cafeteria Christians.

What is a Cafeteria Christian you ask?  I suppose there’s no real definition and the term is loosely used by many people to mean many things but, in its simplest definition, it indicates someone who identifies as Christian, and who “preaches” Christian values, but doesn’t actually LIVE Christian values themselves.  As one would do in a buffet line, they pick and choose what Christian values they will live as opposed to what they expect OTHERS to live.

There’s nothing better to get the Cafeteria Christians to come out of the woodwork in force than the topic of Gay and Lesbian rights and, more specifically, same-sex marriage.  Any time an article on this topic appears in our local rag, the Cafeteria Christians (and non-Christian morons) are all over it with their condemnations, judgments, vitriole and hatred.

TN I love it when people take a stand for something and are completely and utterly wrong on the issue, but they keep appealing it and saying they won’t give up…Its really ashame when they could just say I…Oh wait…I guess I’m wrong and a big fat moron maybe I should actually reconsider my beliefs..

DM at 4:26pm June 4

Oh!! Like the time you believed with all your heart you were stronger than me and you could take me…. you were utterly wrong then…Seriously, look at my guns timmy…I am obviously stronger than you and we all know the last time we fought I threw you off our balcony. Just admit your wrong and a big fat moron…do it!!

Me at 4:36pm June 4

Ah, but grasshopper, appealing things is part of the American Justice and Civil Law systems. To condemn people for their beliefs? VERY un-Christian.

DM at 8:43pm June 4

Pat,ur a main contributor to why this country is headed down the crapper. Hate the christians, take God out of everything and follow obama towards marxism. Our great nation has flourished for over 200 yrs but then people like you come along and stand firm in beliefs and a lifestyle that is just plain wrong. Call me un-christian if you want but come judgement day don’t say I didn’t warn you. You can now officially say that someone has condemned you for your beliefs. Before now you were just looking for a fight and a reason to take a shot at a christian. Well here is your fight, come get some. I’m getting really sick of people like you who want everyone else to accept their lifestyle and call those who don’t close minded but you wont look at things our way so your just as “close minded”. But i know whats really going on here, instead of intelligently thinking about things realizing your wrong you just attack christians and hope no one realizes your the one that is the close minded fool.

TN at 10:31pm June 4

Thanks Darren…Its nice to know that I have a 6″2″ 79lb powerhouse like you watching my back…lol. I really see know point in arguing or name calling no one ever changes anybodys mind by arguing. Although I do see the point in what your saying and share in your frustrations sometimes. Personal attacks do nothing anyways.

TN at 10:49pm June 4

Anyways…..Pat….I never mentioned anything about condemnation. I don’t condemn people or would never try to. People condemn themselves through their actions. Also, You don’t even know the context for which I wrote the comment. appealing these laws through the courts is completely unconstitutional. It is Congress who makes the laws and the courts who interrpret them. It is ridiculous to have courts changing the laws. There are no checks and balances and basically the judicial branch is running the country. I’m off topic…I guess what I”m trying to say is, There are things that are right…and there are things that are wrong…People will do anything to justify their actions and even if they do get a law passed that supports their lifestyle or agenda it really doesn’t matter. Its ultimately pointless because the only laws that last are the laws of God and His laws are immutable and everlasting. You can believe or disbelieve…but in the end…the facts are the facts.

Me at 9:24am June 5

I would challenge both of you to read your Bible and either live by the word of God completely, or not at all. This picking and choosing what parts of the Bible you will live by is what tends to open you up for criticism. And Darren? If my marriage or my existence is causing this country to go down the crapper, I hate to break it to you, it was headed that way before 2004. Perhaps you can put forth some FACT about how homosexuality is putting the country into the crapper, rather than stridently spouting your opinion or belief as fact. TN? I still love you — and can’t WAIT to see the little one when he enters the world (that’s apparently going down the crapper).

First “TN” says that anyone who stands by their beliefs and dares to appeal any sort of judgment is a big fat moron. But that’s not being judgmental or condemning someone for their beliefs? THEN “TN” says that appealing to a higher court is unconstitutional. I’m thinking that he never bothered to take a basic civics class in college, or he’d know the basics of law and justice in this country. You know, the part where there are THREE branches of government — the Executive Branch (which is the President, VP and cabinet), Legislative Branch (which consists of Congress and the Senate) and the Judicial Branch (which interprets and applies the laws).

As is very common, “DM” goes into attack mode, and states as fact his own opinions.  These types are pretty much not worth the time trying to debate with because their thinly veiled hatred is what typically drives them and they don’t want to debate — only insult, slam, and feel superior.  I thanked him for proving my point nicely.

But it’s this very sort of ignorance that has thrived on a larger scale and has deprived citizens of this country of basic human rights — isn’t that unconstitutional?  What does “TN” have to say about the fact that Proposition 8, in California, LITERALLY revoked a RIGHT granted to a group of people?  I’m tempted to remind “TN” that just four short decades ago, his parents’ marriage would have been illegal and, as a product of a bi-racial union, his OWN marriage would be illegal were it not for people standing firm in their beliefs and appealing bad rulings to the highest court in the nation.

The three branches of government were formed by the founding fathers in order to prevent “tyranny of the majority” and “oppression of the minority.”  If this country is headed into the crapper, it’s because basic human rights are being suppressed by pseudo-religous zealots who are acting out of hate rather than true Christian values.

Who says that marriage is a basic human right?  The Supreme Court of the United States of America issued that statement 42 years ago in Loving v. Virginia.

And then there’s the whole declaration of “unconstitutional” by “TN.”  I would wonder what he has to say with regard to Article IV, Section I of the United States Constitution which says:

Full faith and credit shall be given in each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof.

So, if same-sex marriage is legal in one state, then CONSTITUTIONALLY it must be recognized as valid in the other 49 states.  This makes “TN’s” own marriage “portable;” that is, it’s legal in other than the state in which he married.  Or, should Alabama be allowed to go back to dictating that because TN’s parents’ union violated Alabama state law, TN’s biracial status automatically invalidates his own union as long as he is in the state of Alabama?  If “TN’s” marriage were invalidated based solely on the fact that he is bi-racial, would he sit back and just accept that invalidation, feeling that to appeal it would make him a “big fat moron?”  I think not.

Biblical teachings aside, I can assure TN and DM that there’s nothing they can do about homosexuality.  They can call it a “lifestyle choice” if they want (because it’s a form of denial) but the reality is that, no matter how much they oppose it and no matter how much religion they spew at it, it’s going to be around as long as human beings are around.  It’s hard-wired (even though THEY prefer to believe it’s not) and they need only look at EVERY SINGLE SPECIES on this planet to find homosexuality as a natural part of life.  We are ALL God’s children and if they believe that man is made in God’s image, then don’t they rail against God Himself when the rail against homosexuals?

Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol.

Now, I’m sure that SCREAMING he does might be sexy in between the sheets but I found absolutely nothing likeable about it when he sang.  Hopefully he’ll go back to being a drag queen and we won’t hear any more from him.  But I suppose the reality is that’s not likely.

And here’s the thing — the guy DOES have a great voice.  He has great control, a great range, all of it.  But that SCREAMING is SUCH a turn-off!  Steven Tyler wannabe.

I liked Kris Allen almost from the beginning.  I have to confess to having liked Danny a bit more than Kris early on, but as the competition progressed, I decided I liked Kris the best of all.  Cool, assured, in great control, great range, a good, well-rounded singer.

It’s just too bad he had to sing with scream-boy.

I’d buy an album from him, without hesitation.  But I’d likely give a go to anything put out by Danny Gokey, Allison Iraheta, Anoop Desai and, believe it or not, depending on the style of music, Megan Joy.

In the past, we’ve purchased albums by only two of the seven American Idol winners — Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks.  We tend to view the “losers” as winners more — having purchased albums by Clay Aiken (3), Kimberly Locke, Josh Gracin, Bo Bice, Chris Daughtry, and David Archuleta.  Apparently my (our) taste for music isn’t in line with “America has voted.”

A new voting record was set also this season, with just under 100 MILLION votes being cast.  I remember when they were pleased with a bit more than 30 million in season 2.

In all, even though I didn’t watch the first season, I’d have to say that this season brought forth more talent in the top 12 than any other season and I wouldn’t be surprised to see more of Danny, Allison and Anoop.

I’m sure you’ve heard that old expression “it’s time to pay the piper.”  I suppose that phrase’s meaning is arguable, as well as it’s origin, but to me it means that when you indulge yourself in something, anything, there’s a price to pay.  Or, it could also mean that for every action, there’s a consequence.

(San Diego, California) California LGBT activists are rebuffing a bid by San Diego developer Doug Manchester to end a boycott of two of his hotels in San Diego over his support for Proposition 8, the measure which bans same-sex marriage in California.

Manchester owns the Manchester Grand Hyatt and the San Diego Marriott Hotel and Marina.

Last year he donated $125,000 to Protect Marriage, the group behind the ballot measure.

A group called Californians Against Hate immediately launched a boycott of Manchester’s properties. The boycott has resulted in several groups canceling conventions at the hotels – costing Manchester’s facility an estimated $2 million.

Among those who bailed out of meeting at the hotel are conventions for the International Foundation of Employee Benefits, the San Diego Board of Realtors, the American Assn. of Law Schools and the California Nurses Association.

Several months ago, The San Diego Union-Tribune reports, with loss of business at the hotels mounting, Manchester sought the help of Los Angeles public relations specialist Howard Bragman, a gay man who married had his partner last year and fought Prop. 8.

Now Manchester wants to donate an equal amount of money – $125,000 – to California LGBT groups in return for an end to the boycott. The money, The Union-Tribune reports, would be used by the groups to hold meetings and fundraisers at his hotels.

Californians Against Hate dismissed the attempted settlement, saying the boycott will continue.

“He is clearly trying to buy his way out of this, and it will not work,” spokesperson Fred Karger told the paper in an e-mail.

“Their proposal is a real slap in the face to the gay community and to all fair-minded people who believe in equality and support full civil rights for all gays and lesbians,” Karger said.

After Prop 8 passed last November, a legal challenge was mounted. The California Supreme Court is expected to issue a ruling on the constitutionality of the vote any day.

Now, this guy apparently doesn’t get the concept that nobody has ever figured out how to put toothpaste back INTO the tube and, as such, his donation did it’s damage and there’s nothing he can do to UNdo the terrible damage that Proposition 8 and all its supporters did back in November. It’s now up to the courts.

It’s important for any of you out there reading this to understand that, while political differences can and will occur, voting or supporting a position just based solely on the party line is dangerous.

I don’t condemn anyone for their religious beliefs. While viewing the position as woefully ignorant, I don’t condemn anyone who believes that same-sex marriage should not be allowed. But, if you’re going to contribute money to a hateful law, and you own a business, you have to expect that your business could suffer for your decision, as this man has found.

But throwing money at the problem doesn’t solve it — it’s like putting a band-aid on a brain tumor. The only way this guy is ever going to have any credibility with the LGBT community in the future is to openly and frequently denounce Proposition 8 and spend MORE money (not an equal amount) to fight the hate that he supported.

But that’s just me.

Yeah, all’s quiet at our house, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good thing.

I drove the kids to Buffalo this morning for their flight back home to Colorado. I was actually pretty good right up to the point when little Ethan wrapped his little arm around my leg and said “I love you Gramma Pat!” That’s when I started swallowing watermelons. Didn’t want the little ones to see me cry, so I choked back the tears, hugged and kissed Ethan (and he let me!), hugged and kissed little Brandon and chatted with him for a minute about how much I enjoyed his visit. Hugged and kissed Linda and big Brandon, and watched the airport swallow them up as they entered the building.

By the time I reached the airport exit, I was blubbering with tears streaming down my face.

I wish they didn’t live so far away. I ADORE the little ones but I SO enjoyed having Linda and Brandon around, too.

I was glad it was more than an hour’s drive back because it gave me time to compose myself — so I drove not home, but to work. What the heck — didn’t want to go home to that empty, quiet house. Soon enough I’ll have to but not right now.

We’ve been pretty busy but for the most part, I’ve been uninspired to keep up with the blog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rodger. I’m lazy. So sue me.

Anyway, my younger daughter, her husband and the two boys are here for a visit. Their flight was due in (in Buffalo) Monday night at around 11:00 PM but it was delayed by 2½ hours so we didn’t get home until just about 3:00 AM yesterday morning. Dog-assed tired, I plopped into bed, only to realize I was too tired to fall asleep easily. I finally drifted off but at 8:00 I was wide awake.

The boys got up just shortly after Lisa and I did — maybe around 8:30 or so. Mom and Dad got up a bit later. Our day started too soon, given the short amount of sleep we’d had. Everyone but the boys, that is.

Linda and Brandon had to go to the mall to pick up some stuff and I told them they could leave the boys with me. We took a walk down the street to the area where the railroad tracks are and waited for a train. We only waited a couple of minutes before the lights began to flash and the gate started to descend. I pointed out a crack in the road about 50 feet from the tracks and told the boys that was as close as they could get. They stood firmly rooted and watched with unabashed amazement as the train roared by. Ethan covered his ears.

We mosied back home, Ethan taking the time to step on and disintegrate every dried up dead worm he saw in the gutters (and there were plenty). We got out the sidewalk chalk when we got home and the boys played quietly, drawing whatever fanciful creatures their little minds could conjure up.

They both wanted to go inside after a while, so I got out the big bucket of Legos for them, and they sat quietly together “building.”

As I sat and watched them, an unpleasant smell assailed my nostrils. My first instinct was that one of the cats had shit on the carpet or something. But then I realized that unholy stench was coming from my 2½ year old grandson.

“Ethan, did you poop?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“No.”
“Do you want me to change your diaper?”
“No.”
Little Brandon interjects, “But Ethan you stink really bad.”
“NO!”

I let the little stinker play for a few minutes but found I couldn’t just sit there with that godawful smell coming from that child. Just as I was about to insist that he let me change his diaper, he says “I want my diaper changed.” Great!

I go on the hunt in the kids’ bedroom to get a diaper, but can’t find them anywhere. I look in suitcases, but no diapers.

“Ethan, do you know where mommy put your diapers?”
“No.”
“Brandon, do YOU know?”
“No.”

*sigh*

“Ethan, did mommy put your diapers in your backpack?”
“Yes.”

Reminding myself that they’re just little kids, I refrain from the snide comment that wants to burst forth from my lips, locate Ethan’s backpack, and find the motherlode of diapers.

I remove Ethan’s jeans, and can see through the diaper that the foulness I had smelled was the result of a mega-shit that had been quite loose and runny, and had gone up the front of his diaper and completely up his back. *gag*

Breathing through my mouth so the stench doesn’t assault my brain or my stomach, I set about the task of cleaning the little tyke. Wipe after wipe after wipe piled up on the dirty diaper until I was satisfied that he was as clean as I could get him without taking the hose to him. I wrap the dozen or so wipes inside the nasty diaper, roll it all up and tape it together.

“Ethan, how about if you stand up so I can get your pants back on you?”
“Okay.” He stands.

I hold his jeans out for him, and he holds onto my shoulder and sticks one foot into the jeans. I work it through until it’s out the bottom of the jeans and then hold it for the second leg to go in. He lifts his leg, inserts it into the jeans, while I prattle on and on about what a big boy he’s getting to be.

I start to pull the waistband of the jeans up so that they come around his waist, but find resistance. Still prattling on, I tug a bit harder. Then harder. The child is giving me an odd look as I tug as hard as I can to get those jeans to come up.

Then I look down and see two feet sticking out of one pants leg. And I begin to crack up, laughing uncontrollably while that 2 year old, with all seriousness, gives me a look that suggests the thought, “You can’t really be this fucking stupid, can you?” which sends me into repeated gales of laughter.

OK, so I’m a bit out of practice.

Can’t wait to see what today will bring.

And now, for your viewing pleasure……….

If you can’t beat them gay folk down the way you think they should get beat down, the next best way is to take out ads on public television that are full of infuriating lies by ACTORS (not real people).

And here’s a taste of irony — in the ad, these fake “people” lament how their rights are infringed because they can’t discriminate against gays.

OK, so call me a pinko commie bastard.

I bought a Toyota RAV4 in September of 2002 — it was brand new, a 2003.  Some folks call it an “SUV wannabe” but, whatever.  I have absolutely loved this vehicle from the first day I owned it.  There are only two things I don’t like on it — the intermittent wiper isn’t all that intermittent (not adjustable speed) and the rear door opens like a car door — outward instead of upward or down like a tailgate.  Other than that, I have thoroughly enjoyed owning this vehicle for the past 6½ years.

It has 85,500 miles on it.  Not so bad for its age, really.  But here’s the thing — any American made/branded automobile I have owned for more than 40 years or about 50,000 miles has started to cost me money to own.  A little here, a little there, things constantly going wrong with them and when “things” go wrong on an American-made vehicle, it’s not any less expensive to repair than a foreign made one, over time.

So, my RAV4 is in the shop today — for the first time since I bought it, I have to put actual repair money into it.  About $500 to replace the fuel-ratio sensor, change the oil, change the air and cabin filters, and the upper brake light was out and needs replacement.  Of that $500 invoice, about $375 is actual repairs — the rest is what is referred to as “preventive maintenance” or “fair wear and tear.”  This is the only kind of money I’ve ever put into this RAV4, preventive maintenance and fair wear and tear replacements (tires, oil changes, etc.).

About a year or so ago when Joe had had absolutely all he could stand with sinking big bucks into his American made vehicle (Chevy Blazer), we talked to him about the difference between being able to afford to BUY a car and being able to afford to OWN a car.  We pointed out the RAV4 as an excellent example.  I bit pricier to buy, but tremendously inexpensive to OWN.  It gets decent mileage (about 25-27 mpg on average), has been extremely reliable, and (at that time) no actual repair bills.  And the one thing that has been conspicuously absent with the Toyota that we ALWAYS had with American made cars?  Recall notifications.

I often think about the movie Gung Ho with Michael Keaton.  His character convinces a Japanese auto company to open the factory in the town he lives in, where the factory has been closed.  A clash of American and Japanese work ethic ensues and, at one point, a Japanese manager tells Clint Howard’s character “In Japan, we have ZERO defect!” to which Clint replies “Yeah, then how did YOU get through?”  Comedy aside, a goal of zero defects is clearly an attainable goal in Japan, as is evidenced by the resale value of most Japanese made cars.

The first time I ever had a car of my own was 1982.  I bought a 1983 Chevy Cavalier — it was the first year they were out.  They advertised 41 standard features for that vehicle.  My then-husband joked “Yeah, 4 wheels, a seat, an engine…”  But it was things like a digital clock (big stuff back in the day), front-wheel drive (new at the time), locking gas cap…stuff like that.  I liked that Cavalier — it got terrific mileage and, after 4 years I had only 33,000 miles on it but hadn’t put any money into repairs in it.  I could hear a bad lifter in the engine, though, and knew that in no time it would begin to nickel and dime me to death.  As my 30th birthday approached, I decided it was time for me to have the car of my dreams — a Camaro.  I bought the Berlinetta — it would be the last year for Berlinetta, 1986.  The Berlinetta was a step up from the regular Camaro and a step down from the IROC.  I loved that car, but from a distance.  I always said it was the best looking car in the shop, where it spent most of its days.  One day I took it in for yet another repair and told the service manager “My car is here for it’s monthly appointment.”  He looked confused and said “Monthly appointment?”  I said “Yeah, it’s like a woman, it’s sick five days every month.”  I should have known it was going to be a money pit when, three days after I bought it, I had to have the battery replaced, the steering knuckle replaced, the rear stabilizer bar repaird, and the seals in the exhaust re-sealed.

So, I got rid of it and bought an Olds Cutlass Calais (International Series).  This vehicle had aluminum, 16″ rims — for a small passenger car!  New tires for this 1989 vehicle (20 years ago mind you) were $125 a pop.  I got Dunlop tires on sale for $97 each but, as winter set in, had flat tires almost daily.  Hard rubber expands and contracts differently from aluminum.  So, at least once a week I was in a service station getting a tire remounted and rebalanced.  I constantly lost the seal at the bead (the little weight that balances the wheel).  The head gasket blew on the damned thing, sending anti-freeze through the entire engine, diluting the oil, causing the engine to fall just short of seizing.  I had to have the engine replaced.  The vehicle was 3 years old at that point.  For the next 5 years, I dealt with the tires going flat, and nickel/dime repair bills until I just couldn’t take any more.

I bought another Cavalier, a 1997.  Cavalier had come a long way in the 15 or so years since I had bought my first one.  I paid roughly $14,000 for that Cavalier.  Two weeks after I bought it, the electrical system went out.  And, when you have no electrical system, you have no fuel injection and the car goes nowhere.  Just shy of the 4 year warranty period, things started going wrong.  Little things, at first, then bigger and bigger things.  Tie rods, struts, suspension issues all over, the air conditioning quit, the cruise control just stopped working, and the ABS worked only intermittently.  In the last year I owned the Cavalier (five years after I bought it), I put just shy of $4,000 worth of repairs into it.

So, this RAV4 cost me $22,000 and, 6½ years later I have to put repairs into it.  No little nickel-dime issues, everything working perfectly.  I often forget that it’s not a “new vehicle” anymore because it still looks and ACTS like a new vehicle.

Buy American?  No thanks, for a vehicle, I’ll buy Japanese every single time now.  I’m safer in the long run because of their “zero defect” attainment.  I’ll support the American economy by buying American-made televisions or something like that — they don’t compromise my safety like an American made vehicle.

I HEART my RAV4.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all’n you Irish folk out there.

I still don’t know why they have to have a parade — look at ‘em, flaunting their green, shovin’ it down our throats and forcing us to accept them…

Remember that old song by Gilbert O’Sullivan?  It was playing on the radio this morning and is stuck in my head.  Perhaps because Lisa’s been gone for a couple of days.

I’ve decided that I’m no good without her.  Oh, sure, I made it alone before and would make it alone again if I had to but what makes me no good without her right now is that my routine and everything familiar to me is off with her gone.  I don’t sleep well.  I don’t eat well.  Nothing seems normal.

But the good news is that, at least so far, we haven’t had any major coffee incidents like we did in January.  In fact, I actually remembered to put the coffee on last night!

Lisa left Saturday morning for Pennsylvania.  She told me that she cried a lot, off and on, during the 4 hour drive down.  The closer she got to home, the more tearful she became.  So, just outside of her hometown, she decided she had to pull off the road and just get it out of her system before she got to her mother’s house.  She pulled into the cemetary where her grandmother was buried almost two years ago and where her grandfather will be buried today.  As she sat there wiping away her tears and trying to pull herself together, her cell phone rang.  It was her mother.

Now, Lisa’s mother knows that we have had difficulty with getting a cell signal through those winding mountains and country towns.  So, when Lisa answered the phone, Lisa’s mother says “You’re not in a dead zone are you?”  Lisa began laughing raucously and said “In fact, I am.”  While relating this to me she said, “In a few days when things settle down a bit, I’m pretty sure Mom will think it’s funny, too.”

Apparently just yesterday morning Mom was talking to Lisa’s sister on the phone and telling her about that conversation, and laughed and giggled while telling it.  Sometimes dark humor, at a time like this, is a good thing.  And that’s one of a bazillion things I love about Lisa is that quick wit and her willingness to step over a line that some stuffier people might think shouldn’t be stepped over.

I’m concerned about Lisa’s mother now.

For years she has been the caregiver for her elderly parents.  She spent countless hours preparing meals, washing and setting her mother’s hair, carrying them to medical appointments, setting up their meds, giving them insulin shots, testing their blood sugar levels, cleaning their house, doing their laundry — everything they needed her to do.  Lisa’s mother is only 66 but is an insulin dependent diabetic and has had other health issues, including open-heart surgery 3 years ago.

Almost two years ago, when her mother’s health began to decline rapidly, the decision was made to put her in a nursing care facility because she was unresponsive, wouldn’t eat or take in fluids.  She was mad — she had gotten to the point where she was disappointed to wake up each morning and just wanted to “go to sleep and not wake up.”  She was 91 years old.  Lisa’s mother had her father in the car one day, taking him to see his wife when a young kid pulled out in front of her, causing a wreck.  Lisa’s grandfather’s arms were broken (from bracing for impact) and one of his thumbs was fractured — he required surgery for his injuries and, while recuperating from surgery, his wife passed away.  Up until that point, Lisa’s grandfather had still been driving.

Since her mother’s death, Lisa’s mother has cared for her father with the help of home health aides, because of the level of care he has needed.  He could no longer drive and, I’ve said all along, that accident took a lot of life out of him.  But then again, so did the death of his wife (to whom he had been married for 68 years at her death).  The past two years have taken quite a toll on Lisa’s mother and, on Thursday night, I felt a sense of relief for Lisa’s mother.

Lisa told me yesterday, however, that her father (who is around 78) is now acting “goofy.”  He seems unfamiliar with local roads when driving.  Decided on a correct turn and made the turn, even though the light was red.  He often seems disoriented.  Early onset dementia?  Gosh, I certainly hope not, for Lisa’s mother’s sake.  That poor woman needs a break and needs to be able to live her own life without having the ship steered by someone she must carry through life’s basic functions.

Hopefully she’ll get one from family crises for a while now.

As I write this, the funeral services are being held for Lisa’s grandfather.  I feel bad that I’m not there but Lisa and I agreed that by not going with her, I don’t reduce the amount of flexibility she has as far as the time she can stay down there to be with and help her mother through this.  Were I to have gone with her, she would have had to return by Tuesday or Wednesday.  This way, she can stay as long as she wants/needs to.

I miss her.  Bad.

Lisa’s grandfather quietly passed away last night.  He was 93 years old and outlived his wife by a mere 20 months.  She passed away 10 days after their 68th wedding anniversary at the age of 92.

Karl Sherwood is the person largely responsible for shaping Lisa into the person she is today, as far as attention to detail and work ethic.  He was a tough task master around the farm but perhaps that’s why his dairy farm was always a “Farm of Distinction.”

I’ve only known the man for a short eight years but grew to love both Karl and Irene.  I always looked forward to visits with them whenever we went to Pennsylvania for the holidays or just a visit.  As old as they were, they were still both as sharp as tacks and oh, how they made me laugh with their wit and humor.

A bit more than two weeks ago Lisa’s family called with the news that he wasn’t expected to last through the next 48 hours — but you can’t hurry Karl Sherwood up.  He does things in his own time and his own way.  He held on for more than two weeks more before he finally let go.

I imagine that Irene, much stronger and able to walk and hold his hand, has welcomed him with a warm embrace, and he can now take her hand and walk her home.

The beauty of a blog is that you get to say what you want, allow what comments you want, and not allow the comments you don’t want.

If you want to comment here, please do so but if all you’re going to do is drop the eff bomb every other word like an adolescent trying out curse words, and not have anything to offer other than a personal attack, expect your comment(s) to be unceremoniously deleted.

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We’re heading out to Massachusetts for a short vacation.  I’ve taken a bit of a break from blogging just to give myself a breather.  I think we all tend to get a bit burned out blogging so, for now, it’s hit or miss.